Healing for my soul

I heard such an apt description the other day “a drop of oil on the ocean, a part but separate”

I have spent almost my whole life feeling like that. Attending Church but feeling like the odd one out, attending school but definitely feeling like the odd one out, at work and always feeling like the odd one out, I got married and still felt like the odd one out. I didn’t bother going to the pub after the marriage broke down because I was sure I’d just feel like the odd one out. Just reading that back makes me want to cry for my childhood. I have no idea why I felt that way, but I did.

Last night, I played on FaceBook. At some time during the evening my eye fell on the section where friends are listed. At that point there were 133 names listed. All I could think was that all these people had accepted me as a friend because they liked me. There is something about me, something I do or did for these people that means to say they want to be associated with me; no matter how I feel about myself.

That realisation made such a difference. I matter to people, maybe only because I smiled at them at work, maybe because I wasn’t rude at school, in some cases just because I was able to stop their child from crying! I went to bed happy last night.

So, if you want to meet me in the pub, just say so! I can face the world happy, because I’ve concluded that people like me, so it’s OK to like myself.

Thanks everyone, I like you too.

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